My 4th of July Weekend in NM

Its 5:30am. You're sound asleep, dreaming of chilies and taco stands like any good New Mexican. All of the sudden from the darkness, it begins. It starts softly and grows like the tide, until the entire house is full of it. It's Sasha whining. Her noise, like the sound-child of a deflating balloon and a ghost, continues without rest while you lay there dormant, hoping she'll leave you alone to sleep. Like the love song of a whale, the moan slowly, but continually changes pitch. You cant sleep through it.

Its 6:30am now, and you're at your wits end. As you stir, Sasha embellishes her cries with renewed vigor. You figure she has to go to the bathroom or something. You rise and leave the room. She jumps on you and gets directly in the path you're walking, weaving in and out of your legs. She's still whining. There's still food in her bowl from last night, so its not hunger that drives the beast into a neurotic frenzy. You get to the slider and curse as you forgot the keys in your room. You slumber back with zombie-like grace to retrieve the keys ans back again to the slider. You open the door. Loud sirens, as from the depths of Hades, ring blaringly through the house. You've just triggered the burglar alarm. Stupid you forgot to deactivate it....Again. You thought multiple times last night to remember this, but failed. You left a sticky note on the alarm, but didn't notice....again. You rush over to the alarm control with Sasha tripping and jumping on you all the way. You mash the key pad until the alarms silence. You swear profusely, but nothing original. Mind you, its 6:35am, and your brain is not working all that well yet. Now with the house finally still you open the sliding door for the dog to go outside to pee and.....she flees and hides in the couch. You tell her to "come". She hides further, knowing that she's bad for disobeying. The dog does not have to pee. After a couple minutes of trying to coax the dog outside with polite talk and demonstrations of how nice it is out there, Sasha is unmoved. You finally chase her down grab her collar and toss her outside. She sits by the slider and cries to come in. "Stupid dog" you think annoyed, realizing that she sat there and whined for over an hour straight outside your bedroom door without reason. She didn't want food, or to go to the bathroom, she just wanted you up to entertain her. Disillusioned about life's fairness, you drag yourself back to bed, but the memory of the house alarm sirens are still ringing in your ears, and sleep eludes you.

You try for a half an hour, but finally give up. You move to the living room and sit in a chair staring into space, while Sasha licks clean your hand, snots your elbow, and knee, and jumps up and down on your unmoving carcass. You attempt playful energy this morning, but its never enough, and she never stops. Finally you decide to interrupt her playing by having breakfast, even though you're not hungry. Your hands are dripping with saliva, your elbow covered in snot, you're tired, you're in boxers still, and realize as you eat that you haven't even brushed your teeth yet, and look like Baghdad. Below is a Indonesian monkey's rendition of how I look.

The rest of the day passes, night comes, you sleep. 5:30am comes arrives. and the ghastly wailing begins once again......