Maui, pre-humans, had almost no edible plants or game. All the modern staples of Hawaiians (besides seafood), settlers brought with them: taro, breadfruit, pigs, fowl. The islands only native mammal being the Hawaiian Bat. The original settlers were Marquesa Island voyagers (called Menehune), who brought many of these staples to the islands and made them habitable. No one really knows why they made the gamble to cast forth from their homes and launch blindly into endless sea in search of the one of the most remote island in the world (many believe disease, war, or drought was the cause and doubtless that countless other voyages ended in the vast nothingness of open ocean).
The Menehune lived peaceful for about 500 years until around the 1000 AD when they were slaughtered by waves of Tahitians. Where the Menehune were small in stature, jungle folk, and erected elaborate structures in a single night, the Tahitians were a highly aggressive class culture known for inter-tribal strife and human sacrifices. In 1778, the first European explorer (Captain James Cook), arrived at Hawaii during a trip to Alaska. Shipped-wrecked white men had washed ashore before, but this was the first group that had arrived intact. Cook was one of the few decent colonialists (so I'm told), making efforts to keep hit STD-infected crew from spreading disease upon the islands. The Hawaiians took the 6'4" Cook as the g-d Lono and lavished gifts and hospitalities on him at first, but tension soon rose over time as the Hawaiians started to doubt his divinity. Cook left the islands for Alaska, but broke a mast soon after departing and had to turn back. While repairing the mast, a rowboat was stolen (purportedly for the iron nails as there was no iron in Hawaii). In a failed plot to kidnap the chief and random the rowboat back, a firefight broke out and Cook was killed (purportedly) attempting to call for a ceasefire. And like that, one of the World's most successful explorers was snuffed out. All over some iron nails and a stolen rowboat.
Until 1758, each Island was ruled by rival chiefs, each attempting to usurp and kill the other. This changed when Kamehameha "united" the island (killed all the rest). Kamehameha was born to one of the Big Islands Chief's wives. Prophesied to be a Chief-killer (and rumored to be the bastard love child of rival Maui Chief), his father sentenced the baby to death, but he was whisked away to safety. Hawaiians, at this time, were very class oriented (kings, citizens, and slaves) and thought incest among royal siblings was the only way to keep their superior power in the family (they discarded the deformed offspring, though). As Kamehameha's parents were only just cousins, he was seen as unfit to be part of the ruling class. Kamehameha went on to develop a taste for war and went on to conquer all the islands with the assistance of European "counselors" and their one cannon. Oddly enough, Kamehameha had attempted to cede control of Hawaii to Great Britain in 1794 in return for weapons (to kill his rivals more efficiently), but they denied his request. He ,and his cannon, drudged on in bloody warfare to conquer all the islands by the late 1790s and became the first King of all Hawaii. Then Statehood, ....yaddah yaddah.... And now today Hawaii was again graced by the presence of Ben and Alex (and Blasto).
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| Word Homie. |
We arrived to a cold drizzle (which soon passed) and headed to the southwest corner of Maui to a town called Kihei. A town of strip malls neighbored by the multi-billion dollar resorts (and golf courses) of Wailea.
On our first full day, we headed down to the very most south coast of Le Perouse bay to hike Hoapili trails--aka,"the King's Highway." Driving south, the road gives way to dirt, which gives way to un-navigable lava flow. This is where the last eruption in Maui took place and very well could have been a scene from Mars. Harsh twisted rock as far as the eye can see. More than a mile wide, the landscape consisted solely of sharp chunks of ill-fitting lava rock. A very painful place to fall down.
The trail was a 6 foot wide rounded lava stone path that would disappear completely if wandered off but a couple of feet. Back in the day, the trail circled the entire island, and was the easiest way (besides a boat) to travel. The beaches here were mostly wind-strewn and not good for anything but looking, and we ended off the kings highway following a trial marked simply with white coral markers.
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| Lost this trail quite a few times. Follow the white rabbit..... |
By mid-day we made it to our trips first snorkel-spot: an isolated oasis consisting of 2 coconut trees, some meager coral, and some thorny-ass bushes (my feet hurt just thinking about walking around there).
After some swimming and fresh coconuts, we headed back the King's highway to the car, with a pack of well-camouflaged goats as the only sign of life in the graveled landscape.
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| Spot the goats... |
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| There they are ..... |
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| The shade tree. |
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| What remains of a ruin. |
Day 2: Pali Hike
In true vacation style, we got up around noon, lumbered around drinking Kona coffee, had crazy good breakfast at Kihei cafe (Loco Moco is the local dish involving a hamburger patty, 2 eggs, a scoop of rice, and a pile of gravy....mmmmm, ....breakfast gravy...) and headed to our next hike, one of the few of the island over 3 miles long (almost all the others being in the Islands center, a mountainous crater which gets crowded as hell). The Lahania Pali trial was scripted as a straight up and down one way trail over a ridge, and boy were they not kidding. No cutbacks, no shade, no mercy. Straight up and straight back down. A tough hike, but not that scenic at all.
After an exhausting afternoon hike, we retreated back to Kihei. Back to sunsets, beer on the beach, and...
back to my favorite sign in Kihei (you're welcome)
Day 3: circling the island.
The next day, we got up early determined to snorkel all day (well, at least me), but due to high winds, we decided on driving the Island to one of the top rated hikes instead. We traveled along the Southern coast of the island with is completely unwritten about in any guidebook and was floored by its beauty. The road was pristine, with no other cars, unseen acres or rolling grass, and dramatic cliffs. It felt as if we had the whole place to ourselves (which we really did).
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| not another human for miles |
The smooth pavement gave way to rough pavement, which gave way to dirt as we approached the southeastern most point of the Island and the Pipwai trail. The hike was amaze-balls. Lush, dense jungle broke away into mystic bamboo forests, creating a symphony of wind-chimes with each breeze. The end of the trail (after the do not enter sign- which everyone enters...and I mean everyone) culminated at the base of a massive waterfall. The sign is there, I guess, for liability reasons as rocks detaching from the cliff-sides have injured and killed people before. This was a weird trend in Maui- being the ignorable do-not-enter signs.
So back to the signs. Hawaii is sold by it's "aloha"culture- supposedly meaning how nice and open people are. And they are, ...up to a point. Really, it's that their economy is so hospitality based that odds are 90% of people you interact with get paid by your tourist dollars. So they kinda have to be friendly. Walk off the beaten path and you see "dont park here tourist", "Do Not turn around here tourist" and the ubiquitous "do not enter" signs. The guidebook (Maui Revealed is a great guidebook) had a whole section about it debunking which signs were legit (someones private property) and which were fake. Turns out locals would post these signs at their favorite spots to try to keep tourists from visiting there, and those signs were everywhere. On public property, on public beaches, hiking trails, etc. The guidebook got so much backlash from the local community, that they backtracked in the recent editions to state that although almost all "Do Not Enter" signs were not legit, it wasn't worth the headache of arguing over it--- So deal.
Instead of traveling back to Kihei via the southern road, we decided to travel the north-road via the fabled "drive to Hana." It was truly beautiful scenery- the opposite of the vast grassy openness of the southern route. Twisted single-lane road gets absorbed into menacing jungle, dramatic hillsides, and a smattering of waterfalls. The problem was... it was a three hour drive through single-lane passes and much more traffic. People were in a rush, which put you in a rush, and made it much less enjoyable than the southern road for me. No pictures as I was driving.
Exhausted after a long day of driving, hiking, then driving--- we were happy to be home in Kihei to rest and drive in 2 lane roads again.
Day 4: Snorkel snorkel y'all
Today was our last full day in the Kihei/Wailea coast and my day to snorkel it up. And we did. Hopped from one beach to another- all the way down the coast and back again.
While the Coral wasn't spectacular, almost every beach had an area to swim with fish and turtles. Green turtles were everywhere and tame as all heck. They had no problem swimming just feet of you and wouldn't pay you the least bit of attention/fear.
That night, inspired by Tahitian culture, Alex got all Tatt'ed up. Keep up her street cred' n' stuff.
Day 5: heading North
We checked out of Kihei and started our next leg of the trip to the northwest coast of Maui. Alex was fiending for a hike and I read about the dramatic Iao valley (pronounced EE-OWWW- like when you burn your hand). A Park of steep valleys and dramatic views, we arrived, got prepared, stretched, got pumped up, huffed some paint (just joking mom), and headed up the trail. A hundred yards up, it stopped. With a "trial closed" sign......... We turned around, completed the epic journey 100 yards back, and asked the ranger about the hiking trails. He said to just ignore the signs, but some people were possibly living up there and mumbled about it only being a mile or so or trails anyways. So we headed out instead.
The history of Iao valley was interesting. It was where Kamhameha, his warriors, and his one cannon, trapped Maui's army and the battle was said to be so bloody that the bodies clogged the river. Both armies were equally sized- so the cannon tipped the tide in Kamehameha's favor, winning him the day. It was said, when he landed on the beaches of Maui for war, that the Maui army slung heated rocks that them which caused Kamehameha's men to retreat in fear, so Kamehameha burnt his own canoes. It was to be victory or death. ... and in his case victory (although still death for a majority of his men). The Maui chief he killed turned out actually to be Kamehameha's real father... talk about an awkward family reunion.
Al, still itching for a hike, drove us to the north coast to the Waihee Ridge trail, which was well worth the drive. An incredible 5-mile hike with dramatic conifer forests, vast open grassland, and razor thin ridgeline trails with 360 views. Utterly fantastic.
Our home base for the remainder of the trip was to be Lahania: a place described as being the only place in Maui with a downtown which was also always inexplicably busy. The northwest coast was where all the celebrities had houses. Strangely, many of them opened art galleries in downtown and so you can buy really expensive mediocre art from Jim Carrey or some 80's heartthrob. Lahania had money, luxury tinted SUVs, fancy restaurants, and ....golf shit. I know, woot! ....Not really my cup of tea. We were planning on going all out with Luaus and some fancy magic show (Warren & Annabelle's), but they were all closed or sold out (funny stuff-the magic show; we watched youtube videos of it instead from the hotel). Luaus anywhere uniformly cost about $120/person, but walking Lahania, the tourist trap kiosks had discount signs: Luau-$15. Then Luau-$9. Yhen finally Luau-$1. It was starting to get ridiculous. what the hell is a $1 Luau? Most likely a several hour timeshare presentation..... . Lahania downtown did have one cool thing. The largest Banyon tree in the US. It took up an entire block. Pretty awesome.
day 6: Kapalua coastal trail and Acid War Beach
Just North of Lahania was town after town of giant, sky-blocking resort surrounded by golf courses and luxury condos. One of the few trails was a Kapalua coastal ridge trail which jumped from condo lawn, to beach, to condo, to beach. Beautiful if one only looks west to the ocean. We found a spot to cliff-dive and snorkel and we passed the hours under the blaring sun and above the jagged jawline of coastal lava flows.
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| Dragons teeth |
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| not for swimming |
Afterward, We drove to the North coast to see Nakalele blow-hole and acid war beach. The mist from the blowhole firing 80 feet in the air dissolved the adjacent lava rock, shaping it into fantastical dotted shapes.
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| Geyser Guppy |
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| I like rocks |
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| arrrrrr, thar she blows |
With the sun now disappearing behind the shoreline, we found a spot to relax and watched our last sunset in Maui. A bittersweet moment
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| downtown Lahania |
Look carefully for the white mouth of an angry Morey Eel
2 comments:
Glad you had a fantastic time!
Great write up Ben.
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